Dethmolition
by Ranekaera
Summary: SEQUEL to Explosionklok! Selatcia got away, and that's all I'm saying. More romance, mess ups, band mishaps and violence, please R&R! CHAPTER 13 IS UP! THE KLOK IS TICKING AND HAS EXPLODED! THE METALOCALYPSE HAS INTENSIFIED!
1. Where he stands

Hey, told you there was gonna be a sequel!

Nathan Explosion, Toki Wartooth, Skwisgaar Skwigelf, William Murderface and (my own given name) Nathaniel Hawthorn, aka Pickles the drummer are back and so is Naetasha.

This is picking up about a month from where the first fic left off.

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The second Metalocalypse had begun. And it was blacker than ever this time.

The sky around Mordhaus was usually black, but the sky around the surrounding Mordland was getting black now as well. And spreading.

The band was recording a new album. So far, there was a self titled album, the Dethalbum and Dethwater. Now they were working on something they were calling Dethmolition.

Naetasha had begun to heal nicely. She and Nathan had made midnight walks a habit now, when he was feeling up to it. It was the only thing they did together, aside from sleep occasionally. They weren't ready to make their "relationship" known to the press just yet. Not after what happened with "Natebecca".

Naetasha had begun teaching Murderface the fine art of swordfighting (not fencing, that was for pussies) and he was a little clumsy but was coming along well. And she and Toki were busy trying to teach Nathan Norwegian. It was _not_ going so well. She knew he knew the words she was teaching him. He was just having a hard time saying them. His mouth kept getting in his way.

Meanwhile Skwisgaar had begun allowing Naetasha to watch him play his solos, something she was trying to learn in her spare time. He kept trying to give her pointers, but it was hard to understand his english sometimes.

It was one day during the band's practice that the author decided to start up dialogue sequence.

Nathan and the rest were working on their latest song, one Naetasha had helped to write, when Nathan suddenly stopped. He was looking at his newest friend. Uually during practice, she would headbang along with them. Now she was staring off into a corner.

"Are you alright?" he asked her.

She didn't answer.

Toki walked over to her, his guitar thumping aainst his thigh with every step and tapped her on the shoulder.

"Flame? Is you okays?" he asked.

She started, as if jumped and looked up at the rythm guitarist.

"Huh? Oh, yeah... fine. Just thinking," she said, and she continued to stare into a corner.

They resumed practice.

When they had finished, Nathan approached his sort-of girlfriend. She was brutal and pretty metal, but nothing at all like the bitch Rebecca. She knew how to posess him in bed, and _that_ turned him on, and she was willing to ber taken herself, and _that_ was cool. But she was more free-spirited than Rebecca and a lot smarter. He wasn't sure what his feelings were yet. Love... hate... both were tied in his mind. To hate was to love and to love was ... unfamiliar.

"Hey," he growled. They were in the hallway leading to the bedrooms. To his right were the doors to the library of Mordhaus, spiraling all the way up the huge tower, filled with books. She read a lot, more than he ever did. Understood more, too, if he wasn't mistaken. He wsa stupid compared to her. How did he deserve her attention? Why did she tolerate him?

"Hi, Nathan," she said, still appearing to be in a daze. Trying to be a little more... well, patient, he tapped her shoulder so she'd look at him and that did it. She really seemed to _see_ him this time. She stared up at him, sky blue meeting bright green. He couldn't help a half-hearted smile, although he didn't know why.

"What were you uh. Thinking about back there? You're usually into the music," he asked.

"That guy who put you to sleep back in DC. What was his name? Selatcia," she said.

Nathan remembered the old bastard that had taken him out unfairly. Anger boiled. What he wouldn't give to knock that asshole out.

"What about him," he growled.

"He got away. I'm pretty sure I stabbed him in the shoulder, but he got away. I've been thinking. I think the Tribunal was just a cover. That guy Selatcia _was_ the Tribunal. He's the one who wants Dethklok dead. What if he could just gather new "friends" and keep trying?" she explained.

Nathan thought about it. Not very hard, but it made sense.

No way in hell were they going off looking for the guy, though. It had been too close of a call last time. He still remembered it. The blood, the fear that Toki's face had really been bashed in. And Naetasha had almost chosen to die.

He pulled her to him in a rare hug.

"Awww, ain't that cute."

"You got a problem, dickbrain?" he growled.

Pickles strode out from behind them and smirked. Nathan sucker punched him and he pretended to be in pain.

"Hey, I don't got a problem. It's just wierd, y'know? Seein' you with another girlfriend. After that birdfaced band wrecker, Rebecca," he said.

"She's braindead now." Nathan reminded him. Braindead meant the ultimate girlfriend, but seeing the freedom that Naetasha gave him versus Rebecca almost made him change his mind.

Women were strange.

He was used to fucking and dumping them, not living with them.

"Get lost, Pickles," he growled.

The redheaded drummer shrugged and went on his way.

Nathan kissed the band's bodyguard, picking up where he had left off.

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Hey, I just thought I'd give you a chapter to see where Nathan and Naetasha stand as a "couple". Obviously he isn't too sure yet. Thanks for reading and keep reviewing!


	2. Selatcia

This is from Selatcia's POV, and any and all history on this man is purely the brainchild of my overactively morbid imagination.

Please review!

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Herbert Selatcia still had not been able to extract the knife from his shoulder.

He had not only underestimated the girl's skill; he had also underestimated her strength of character. He had tried to ease her mindset and force her to sleep rather than merely suggesting it and she had fought him.

In essence, the Tribunal was destroyed. All his contacts that had been carefully evaluated, handchosen for their loyalty and secrecy and their contcts, were all dead. He had no allies left. No one else knew.

He wore a white trench coat over his usual suit, to hide the blood and the handle of the knife. He could not remove it, not because he wasn't strong enough, but because it was the only thing holding his severed artery together, preventing him from bleeding to death. He would not allow that. He was not remotely afraid of dying; he just had important things to attend to before he did.

Destroying Dethklok. (A/N: Due to Selatcia's reluctance to allow the others to blatantly destroy the band in the videos [he usually advises the others to wait and see what happens, I had kind of assumed he had joined the Tribunal to help the band destroy the public and bring about an apocalypse of metal. However, for the purposes of this fic, he is evil.)

He sat on a large boulder on a beach, having driven there from the complex in Washington DC. He drove a 1999 gray Lexus car.

He stared off at the sunset, thinking. About his past and about Dethklok's hopeful future.

And the girl.

He sighed and again examined the gilt pomel of the girl's knife. It was really quite pretty. It was a shame it had to be examined buried hilt-deep into his own flesh. He would have liked to remove it. It was really quite painful.

And it was now his weakness.

He would have to protect himself there if ever he ran into Naetasha Hagebak again.

Sighing again, he got to his feet and made his way to his car. It was time to start again.

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PLEASE REVIEW!


	3. Invites

Hey, an old friend makes an appearance in this chapter, which might be long, so bear with it. This chapter is dedicated to Joanna Myers. Birthdays are so fun when it's Dethklok, hahahahaha.

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Nathan and the others were taking a break from practice, lounging around in the main room, playing video games, soaking in the hot tub, so on and so forth.

Himself, he was leaning back against the arm rest of one of the couches, resting his eyes and his voice.

"Hey, lookit dis," said Skwisgaar suddenly.

Nathan opened one eye and saw Skwisgaar pointing at the computer screen.

"Ah, I hate invites. Who's it from?" he growled.

The computer screen showed someone's myspace where the band was a prominent feature. There was an enormous birthday invite sent to him as a comment from Toki. Skwisgaar and Toki were the only ones in Dethklok with any such account. Myspace was for emos and pussies, in Nathan's opinion. Too much trouble.

"It says dat Toki's birthfkdays is tomorrows," said Skwisgaar.

"So what?" asked Murderface.

"So whats? I don'ts knows," said Skwisgaar.

"We'll have to get him a gift," growled Nathan. He wasn't really looking forward to it at all. Tomorrow was October 18, if he remembered looking at the calender this morning.

"We still has times to prepares," muttered Skwisgaar.

Nathan watched as the Swede checked the rest of his email, clicking out of Myspace.

"Hey, dere's one froms a persons named Hagebak. What's dos I do?" he asked.

"Open it, it's probably Nate," said Nathan. They had stopped calling her Flame, for what reason, no one knew. Now she was simply Nate, and he was Nathan. End of story. Indeed the return address of the email in question was Metalhead6656. It was hers.

"It says dat she has an ideas for Toki's partys and to see hers after practice todays. Crap. I'm lates," he muttered, and he shut the computer off.

Nathan got to his feet and took the Swede's empty seat, reading the email.

He wasn't an expert with computers or anything, but he knew enough. He clicked on Skwisgaar's contacts and found Naetasha's address, then clicked on details. He hadn't added many.

Suddenly, a chat box appeared on the task bar below, flashing orange. Intrigued, he clicked it. A messenger chat box appeared and the name at the top was Joanna. Her friend was trying to get to her.

He typed Helo.

(A/N: Again, messenger quptes will be identified as such, ex. """" you douche""""")

""""ello""""

Nathan made some sort of noise. Sounded like something someone would ssay to him in London.

"""it's Nathan. Nate aint here rite now."""""

There was a pause.

"""" oh, hi Nathan. I got those autographs in the mail today. Can't thank you enough.""""

"""mmm don't mention it"""""

He continued chatting about nothing with his girlfriend's best friend until the subject of birthdays came up. She mentioned something about Nate's birthday.

"""" When is her birthday?""""

There was a pause, longer this time.

"""" she didn't tell you??? it's tomorrow!"""""

She shared Toki's birthday? Why hadn't she told anyone??? Then again, there was a lot about herself she still hadn't told anybody.

""""Hey, gotta go, bi.""""" he typed, and he closed out of the chat box.

He stood up and stretched, then made his way towards her bedroom. Instead, he heard her voice coming from Skwisgaar's room. He opened the door without knocking and found them sitting on opposite ends of his flor-level bed, she looking a little uncomfortable. They were arguiing in hushed voices over something in some magezine.

"Hi Nathan," said Skwisgaar, flipping idly through pages.

"Hey," he replied, walking over to them. He didn't sit. He knew only too well who and what had happened in that bed. He wasn't about to sit on it. Naetasha, he saw, had decided to sit on a sweatshirt on the bed, creating a seperate layer between her butt and the bedspread.

"How come you didn't tell us it's your birthday tomorrow," he asked right out of the blue. To be honest with himself, he was a little stung she hadn't told him. Maybe she didn't want anyone to know for fear of more attention than she was used ot? She had admitted to being neglected a lot in the past.

As was expected, she blushed and muttered something about not needing any birthday party.

"What's It's your birfdays tomorrows too?" asked Skwisgaar disbelievingly.

"Yeah..." she muttered, clearly not wanting to go into it. "I'll be 21."

"Legally old enough to drink and you don't wanna at least get smashed?" Nathan asked, shocked. He had started drinking in high school and had never stopped.

She shrugged but didn't say anything, just continued to flip idly through her own magezine. It was full of guitars and other musical equipment. They were searching and debating over what to get Toki.

Nathan beckoned to Naetasha and she followed him out of the room. He closed Skwisgaar's door and thought of what to say.

"How come you don't want anyone to know anything about you?" he asked.

She glared at a random section of the floor and folded her arms. It was amazing how she could look her age one moment and look half her age at the next.

"When I was a kid, I had a lot of horrible birthdays. People used to tease me cause I was a year younger than everyone else. The more people know about me, the worse it is. They all know just how to irritate me and I don't like being picked on. It's why I learned to fight," she admitted, still refusing to look at him.

Was that all? Hell, he used beer for the same reason.

If it was her birthday tomorrow as well, he may as well plan something besides Toki's birthday. They shared one. It called for a lot of booze.

Booze they had. But what could he get for her that wouldn't embarass her or make her cry? Toki had told him in private that she wasn't used to getting gifts and she disliked jewelry and things. Exactly what they talked about in Norwegian remained a mystery to the others, but it was safe to assume it was a lot more indepth than anything anyone else ever talked about around Mordhaus. Toki probably knew more about her than he did.

He sighed and stared at the carpet.

Then it hit him. He could give her the blackest most brutal thing ever. A reunion with Joanna, who seemed to be her only true friend. But how to find out where she was and how to get hold of her? Then it hit him. How else did Nate get hold of her? The internet.

Marginally more cheerful, he kissed her cheek and walked towards Toki's bedroom.

"Come ins," he called when Nathan knocked.

He entered Toki's bedroom and was struck by the normalcy of it. Pictures of his parents hung on the wall, posters of rockets and star charts, a desk with normal stuff like a magnifying glass and a half complete model, pencil holders, ordinary stuff. It looked like a kid's bedroom.

"Oh, hey Nat'ans. It's my birthdays tomorrows, I sents Skwisgaar an invites over myspace," said the Nord.

"What do you know about Nate that we don't?" he asked, sitting on his bed. He was pretty sure that was safe.

Toki sat at his desk and now paused his modelmaking pursuits to face him.

"She tolds me nevers to tell anyones! She says it's top secrets," Toki refused.

Nathan growled and made a face. This was starting to annoy him. Was she really so afraid ofpity? What if they all promised not to give her an inch, _then_ would she start talking?

"Thanks, Toki," said Nathan, and he left.

He plopped down in his own bedroom and grabbed his laptop, bringing up the messenger website Nate had used once before to speak with Joanna.

"""" Hi agen."""" he typed to her.

A pause.

"""" Which Nate is this""""

"""" Explosion,"""""" he typed.

A pause, then,

""" Ooooh, hi again,""""

Wasting no time (he didn't feel like talking to someone he didn't know, let alone a fan), he typed back.

""" Where do you live"""""

She took her time this time.

"""" Manchester England"""""

Oh, fuck. He would have to send the Hatredcopter to pick her up. It was the only thing they had that was fast enough.

""" Why."""

Nathan decided not to tell her. See how Nate's friends felt being left in the dark to wonder, he thought spitefully.

"""" Expect a hatredcopter sometime tomorrow""" he typed and he refused to write anythign more.

He logged out and closed out, setting his laptop on the floor beside him. He sighed and closed his eyes. He heard the door open but didn't move. It was when he felt a light weight shift his mattress that he knew it was Nate.

He heard her sigh lightly. When she didn't say anything, he opened his eyes a crack. She wasn't looking at him, rather, the floor. She was twisting her hands on her lap, wringing them nervously. The blue stone on the ring she always wore on her little finger reflected the dull light, flashing at him.

"I know you guys must be really annoyed with me. Not telling you anything about myself," she said finally.

"I don't wanna hear it," Nathan grumbled. It was true. He didn't really. She told Toki all this stuff but didn't tell him or the others. Did she not trust them? Did she not trust him???

He rolled over, facing her with his back and felt a gentle, almost tentative hand on his side where his chest met his side fat, forming a small barely visible roll. He needed to lose weight.

She seemed to decide against doing anything else.

"We're celebrating your birthday tomorrow with Toki," he grunted.

There was a pause.

"Fine."

He rolled back over to look at her reaction, and her hand slid over, staying in place, to land just below his chest. She took it back. He was surprised to see her looking ... wierd. Not angry, but not sad, either. Some mix of the two.

"Do you have to?" she asked.

"No, but I think the others, y'know. They might. Specially Toki. He likes you," Nathan admitted.

"I know. It's acgtually sort of wierd. No one liked me much even a year ago," she admitted, and this time she did look a bit sad. Even if she didn't tell anyone, her facial expression usually betrayed how she felt.

Nathan did something he very VERY rarely ever did with any girl. . He pulled her on top of him and just held her. Her weight felt comfortable and she was warm.

It was nice sometimes to just... feel wanted.

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Hey, sorry, I needed to end it here, it was getting a bit too long. Next chappter up next! Uh... obviously... sorry. not thinking str8.


	4. Birthdayklok

Hey, sorry, here's the birthday thingy. Decided not to have a birthday like Murderface's in the eppy "birthdayface", cause too many characters... meh. Just didn't feel like it. It's a private celebrity birthday, so here it is.

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Joanna Myers, at the moment, was busy ignoring her sister.

She sat in her darkened room, headphones on, listening to Naglfar, one of her favorite death metal bands, out of Sweden. It was cranked to full blast.

Her bedroom looked a lot like a dungeon, minus the cold stone and the manacles. A black light in place of a regular lightbulb. Her walls were painted an annoying yellow color, but she had remedied that. Posters plastered every square inch. Her computer had been colored black by sharpie.

Hey. Death by sharpie. That was a kickass song title. Maybe she's message Naetasha and give it to her.

Speaking of her best friend... what had Nathan Explosion meant by "expect a hatredcopter"??? This mystified her to no end.

"Turn that down! I know you can hear me!!"

Jo responded by cranking her music so loud it literally hurt her ears. Ahh. Much better. Now nothing but the sweet bliss of screaming. NOT her sister's. She took a long swig of her favorite cup of hot chocolate and was just getting ready to get something to eat when rough hands grabbed the back of her chair.

Expecting her moron sister, she came face to face with a man in a black helmet.

"Hey, what the fuck? Who are you??" she demanded. She had spilled her hot chocolate all over herself and the rug was stained. Fuck.

"I have express orders to pick you up. You are Joanna Myers?" he asked., His voice was muffled and sounded a bit robotic because of the mask. It was like a jet fighter's mask. Creepy.

"Yeah, who're you?" she demanded.

The man grabbed her by the upper arm.

"Hey! Let go of me you twat! Get the fuck off of me!" she demanded, enraged that anyone would dare manhandle her. To her surprise, she didn't need to knee the man in the balls.

He let go of her and motioned towards the door. She saw the Dethklok logo on his gloves. That more than anything calmed her down somewhat.

"Nathan Explosion invited you to Mordhaus for one day only, to celebrate someone's birthday. Come with me," he explained.

Oh. my. _God_. Mordhaus? One day? Free access? Nathan Explosion? DETHKLOK?

She didn't know what stopped her from jumping up and down and peeing herself, but she managed not to.

She loved that rebel goth girl Nate more than ever right then. She was going to meet Dethklok!

She flipped her sister the bird on her way out the bedroom, passed her mother in the living room.

"Where ya going, hioney?" she asked, not looking away from the tv screen.

"Seeya, mom. Going to Mordhaus for the day. Be back whenever," she replied offhandedly, like it was no biggy.

Her mother shut the tv off and stared at her and the hatredcopter pilot.

"Absolutely not! Not by yourself! What if they do something to you??" she demanded, suddenly focused.

"I'm not alone. I got this guy. He's flying the chopper," she replied sarcastically and with that, she hurried the guy out the door before her mother got any last words in.

"YES!!" she cheered, once she stepped out ansd saw the Hatredcopter sitting in the middle of the street. There was a line of cars honking angrily at the larger-than-130ft tall and 350ft long Hatredcopter. Jo cheerfully flipped them the bird and followed the pilot on baord.

Her jaw fell. This place... was awesome. A jacuzi, a huge upstairs fireplace, couches... she could spend the whole trip in here alone.

She asked the pilot if she could use the jacuzi. He nodded and told her no clothes then handed her a towel.

Brutal.

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"Alright, is everyone ready? Here he comes! Everyone hide!" Nathan tried whispering, but it just came out sounding like a hushed version of his usual voice.

They all hid, Nate included and Charles Ofdensen got the lights.

"Heys? Whys it so dark ins heres? Wheres de lights?" came the sound of Toki's voice.

Charles flipped the lights back on and the band all jumped out from their hiding places.

"SURPRISE!"

Toki's eyes went wide and his body went rigid. He fell on his back.

"Ah. Crap," said Nathan.

They all approached the fallen guitarist. Nathan nudged him with his shoe.

"Diabetic coma. Damn it," he growled.

It seemed they had surprised him a little too much.

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The trip had taken forever.

After climbing out of the jacuzi and toweling herself dry, she had redressed and lay lounging in the seat in front of the fireplace upstairs. She remembered she hadn't gotten Nate anything for her birthday yet.

"Shit," she said bleakly.

She pressed a button near an intercom system near he head and said "uh,... hello?"

There was a pause, then the pilot's muffled voice came through.

"What is it," he said.

"Uhh, I forgot to get my friend anything for her birthday. Cold we stop somewhere so I could buy her something totally awesome?" she asked.

There was an even longer pause here.

"Nathan says sure, but, and I quote, hurry your ass up or they ain't waiting," said the pilot.

"I'll stop in DC."

Great. stopping someplace she had never been and expecting her to "make it quick".

Seconds later, she felt the copter begin to descend. She looked out the window and saw what looked like a museum and a ton of narrow insanely crowded streets.

The copter landed on top of the building (it could hold all that weight??) and the hatch opened.

Quick as she could, she ran to the door on the roof and opened it. The walkway was cooled with air conditioning and the stairs we reslick with what felt like wax. She had to be careful so she didn't slip.

Getting to the bottom, she discovered that she was on wha tlooked like the second floor of the museum. Dinosaur exhibits, caveman exhibits, science and rock formation exhibits. Where the hell was the gift shop in this place?

She spotted it a few exhibits down and, dodging and pushing past everyone she could, she hurried in.

This place was amazing. She didn't even have time to get used to the unfamiliar faces and accents.

There were boxes and boxes of model dinosaur kits, souvenir cups, towels, plushies... what on earth in here would make her friend happy?

_Well... she is kind of a random nerd, like me... maybe a model raptor?_ she thought, examining the boxes. According the the display, the could move, made sounds and were about as big as a model jetplane.

She decided on one of the velociraptors. She thought it was cool, anyway.

She payed for it at the desk and was faintly embarassed when the clerk saw her british money. To her surprise, however, he took it, changed it and handed her her change back.

"American or English?" she asked.

"Well, I s'pose I'm in America, aren't I? American," she replied waspishly. She was afraid the man who piloted the Hatredcopter would leave without her.

The clerk threw the toy into a gift bag and thrust her change at her and she pocketed it, not liking the feel of the somehow clothy bills.

She hurried back up to the stairs to the roof but found her way blocked by a man in a police uniform.

"You can't go up here, missy," he said sternly.

She was starting to get panicky.

"You have to, the Hatredcopter's up there, they gotta take me to Mordhaus!" she demanded.

The man laughed.

Annoyed, she shoved past him and ran as fast as she could up the stairs, slipping as she went.

"Hey! Someone stop her!"

She broke out into the sunlight and ran to the copter, which was still going. Behind her she ehard the sound of running footsteps.

She dove for the hatch and waved goodbye at the incensed security guard as he stared up and up and up at the top of the hatredcopter, his jaw slack.

"BYE JACKASS!" she called.

The Hatredcopter took off.

America was _great_.

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Nathan was getting impatient. Where the hell was the Hatredcopter?

On the floor, Toki was being revived (hot whisky with a splash of something Nate swore up and down was honey, but he thought otherwise), Nathan dialed the number of the pilot.

"Yeah, where the hell are you?" he demanded, annoyed.

"My lord, we are almost there now, " said the pilot.

"Well hurry it up, I wanna start drinking," he complained. He hung up. He wasn't really going to drink as much as he had the night Nate had to drive them home, but enough to get tipsy. He had just wanted an excuse for the pilot to hurry it up.

"Who were you talking to?" asked Murderface interestedly.

"The pilot," he said quietly. Toki was coming around and Nate was watching them.

"Oooooohhhhhh," said Murderface, realization dawning on him.

_Twenty minutes later_...

Nathan met Joanna Myers outside where they usually parked all the Hatredcopters, the biggest one used for transporting the band and the slightly smaller ones used for everything else. She was a little shorter than even Nate was, cropped black hair, brown eyes, glasses, a bit pudgy and all in goth clothes bought exclusively from what looked like a hot topic. She was carrying a plastic bag and had a stain down the front of her shirt.

"Hey," he greeeted her gruffly.

She grinned and shook his hand, although he never offered it. She was getting on his nerves already.

"C'mon, it's, This way," he said haltingly, and he expected her to follow him.

She wouldn't shut up the entire time. And her accent was so wierd! Or maybe he was just used to Skwisgaar and Toki's accents.

On the way down the hallway leading to the room where he would store his "present" for his girlfriend, he stopped her and grabbed any random shirt off his bedroom floor, since hers was stained with something. She could do what she wanted with it, he honestly didn't give a fuck.

She looked surprised when he threw it at her.

She changed while his back was turned, tucking her stained shirt into her plastic bag. She was wearing Nathan Explosion's _shirt_. SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! Happy happy happy days! She would never wash this, never sell it ever!!!!

He led her to an empty room with a rectangular table and tall gothic style windows. The chairs were amazing, all spiked and shaped like ax blades.

"Wait here," he said, and he shut the door on her.

He left her and went into the main room again.

"Now for Naetasha's gift and. Stuff. Yeah," said Nathan to everyone.

"COME ON OUT HERE!" he yelled towards the other room.

There was the shutting of a door somewhere around the corner and someone stepped out into the room.

Two jaws fell at once. Four sets of eyes went wide.

They screamed as one and rushed at each other, clotheslining each other in a stranglehug.

_God. I hope she never hugs me like that_, thought Nathan, but no sooner than this thought crossed his mind, he was tackled.

"Thank you!!" she cried.

He awkwardly patted the top of his girlfriend's head and begged her to stop crushing his ribs.

She let go of him and she was smiling wider than he had ever seen her smile. The change it made on her face was surprising. Like she was someone else. She looked a hell of a lot younger than 21 and she was... beautiful. There was no other word for it.

He smiled back.

"Happy birthday!" called Skwisgaar, and he gave her a hug.

"Thanks," she said, her face turning scarlet.

"Dude, dat was your gift? Dat sucks!" said Pickles to Skwisgaar.

"Whats? I was means to hers before," he said, shrugging.

"I don't care, you guys are awesome," said Nate.

She grinned at Joanna and they hugged again.

"I tinks dey are lezz," whispered Skwisgaar.

He had a blade at his throat so ast Nathan didn't see it. Nate didn't look so happy at the moment. She looked pissed.

"We're. _Friends," _she growled.

She sheathed her sword and unbuckled it, throwing it on a nearby couch.

"Oh _wow_, I can't believe I'm in Mordhaus."

"I know, isn't it brutal? This place is awesome, dude you should see my room," said Nate.

"Womens. Pfft," whispered Skwisgaar.

"Let them have fun," growled Nathan, punching Skwisgaar on the arm.

"Ouch!" he cried.

"Nates? Oh, dere you ares. Hey, it's your birthdays toos? Woooweee, I didn'ts knows dat!" said Toki. He had finally woken up.

"Hi Toki," said Joanna shyly.

"Hi Joannas!" he replied, waving.

"How'd you know her name was Joanna?" asked Nathan dully.

"Easy. Nates talks abouts her all de times," he replied.

As Toki offered to take Joanna on a tour (with Nate) Nate turned back and kissed his cheek.

"This is the best birthday gift ever. Thanks. Really," she said.

Nathan was surprised to see a tear in her eye.

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PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!


	5. Birthdayklok part 2

Hey, just thought I would update this thing today, been boming my place with inseciticide all day (flea season) and figured, hell with it. Thanks for lunagoddessoffoxes for her idea, I might just throw that in here. BUT I'M NOT SURE YET!

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"Dis is de place wheres we practice," announced Toki. They had been through most of Mordhaus by now and Joanna was getting a little bored. It was the first time they had met face to face and she had been pretty much all over Mordhaus by now, yet she wasn't bored in the slightest.

"Waits till you see de libroary ys," he tried to say library, but his english, while better than Skwisgaar's, still proved a little difficult.

He led them to the library tower and Jo's jaw fell.

Book, books, books, from the floor to the very top of the tower, well over 180 feet high.

"Yous cans picks ones if you wants," offered Toki generously.

The librarian of Mordhaus, a woman in an executioner's mask and a tank top, came over just then and introduced herself as #100.

"Could I?" asked Jo.

"Of course, sweetie, just don't tell the others is all. Over there are a lot of copies," she said and she pointed towards a series of low shelves over in a shady corner.

Joanna went over and selected the first book her fingers touched _A history of Metal_, which there appeared to be several copies of. She stashed it inside the plastic bag she carried.

"What's in the bag?" asked Naetasha curiously. It looked like a box.

"You birthday gift. Here, happy 21st!" said Joanna brightly, grinning.

She took it and lifted out the box. It was a moveable dinosaur model that made sounds. Contrary to appearances, she had always been a dinosaur freak as a kid. It was cool.

She hugged her best friend and thanked her.

_Meanwhile_...

Nathan and the rest of the band were busy. Getting drunk, that was. Nathan, however, abstained from more than a few shots of vodka, claiming he had stuff to do.

"I'm's goings to punchk that ladies," Skwisgaar said through a mouthfull of beer.

With Nate around, Nathan seriously doubted that and if he did get a punch off, Nate would probably do something to his balls again.

"Hey, look at me, I'm ... uhh... yeah... that guy... whoever he is..." slurred Murderface. He was standing on the saw table in the middle of the room.

Nathan merely sat on the couch, amusing himself with nonsense mouth sounds until Toki and his little tour group returned.

Twenty minutes later they did. Joanna loked ecstatic and Nate looked happy to see her friend. He was glad he was able to get someone something they wanted for a change. He remembereed Murderface's birthday all too well. They had gotten him the blackest most worthless gift of all. A box full of nothing.

"Hi guys," said Nate, sitting on the couch next to Nathan. Toki patted the seat next to him and Joanna sat next to him. The guitarist seemed to like her.

"Oooh, what's dat?" asked Toki, motioning towards the box Nate held in her lap. It was way too colorful and depicted a dinosaur.

Nate stabbed it open borrowiong Murderface's dagger and pulled out the model-sized action figure and pressed a button. It began to walk across the floor and roar at random things.

"Wooooww, cools!" exclaimed Toki.

"Ja, dat's cools," agreed Skwisgaar, not really paying attention. He was glaring at Joanna.

Before she could notice him he had clocked her in the back of the head, knocking her glasses off.

"Hey! What the fuck?" she demanded, putting them back on and rubbing the back of her head angrily.

"It's yous faults dat Nate was almost goings choosingk to dies! De Dutch are scum," he said angrily.

"What? What the hell are you on about?" she demanded angrily, her eyes wide, obviously confused.

"Whens we was fighting ze Tribunals, she gotsd hurt and almost chose to dies! You saids "Die for Dethklok"!" he accused.

"Total coincidence!" Joanna broke it up. Now the two were staring each other down, almost forehead to forehead and Nathan wasn't sure which one would move in for the kill first.

Nathan tried to break it up but to his surprise the smaller girl pushed him away. He staggered but not much.

"My friend met you once, _Skwiggy! _She slept with you! She says to tell you you'r an asshole!" Joanna spat.

Skwisgaar got angrier than Nathan had ever seen him.

"NO I'M NOT!"

"Yes, you are! She's stuck living in a shantie with a kid and you're living in the lap of luxury in Mordhaus!" Joanna accused him.

"Um... is anyone else as confused as I am?" asked Nate.

Silence.

"I don'ts gots no kids! I hates kids!" Skwisgaar yelled back. Now the two were standing forehead to forehead but neither one looked in the mood for a kiss.

Nate got up and wedged herself in between the two and Skwisgaar snapped like a live wire. He began trying to pummel every inch of Joanna he could reach and hit Nate on accident.

"That was a mistake," she snarled and she hooked one foot behind Skwisgaar's knee, pushed down on his flat, skinny chest and forced him to the floor. She sat down on his guy, not caring to be gentle.

"Ooofs!"

Joanna was still trying to get at the blonde so Nathan came up behind her and lifted her up by the back of her borrowed shirt with one hand.

"Let me go, you faggot, drop me!" she started to struggle.

NO ONE called him faggot. It was the only nickname in high school that had really gotten uinder his skin and not because he was homophobic.

He was more than happy to oblige, dropping her where she dangled. He was not gentle.

"I'd say this is the best birthday ever," said Nate airily.

"Sorry," grunted Nathan.

"No. I was serious. This is the most fun I've had in awhile, really," she corrected him. He looked at her face. She was quite serious.

"Would you minds gettings off me?"came Skwisgaar's muffled voice.

"Nope."

"Den could yous?"

"Nope," said Nate, smiling.

Skwisgaar went limp and submitted to his fate.

"You're mean," pouted Joanna, getting to her feet and straightening her clothes.

"No one said I was nice," said Nathan, glaring at her. This girl was really starting to piss him off. Then again, so was Skwisgaar. He wasn't usually a mean drunk.

"Jerk," she muttered.

"What was that?"

"Nothing."

Nathan punched her.

She fell on her ass on the floor and immediately got back to her feet and started pmmeling every inch of him she could reach. Apparently, she wasn't a very good fighter because she couldn't reach much higher than his neck.

"ENOUGH!"

Before he knew it, his girlfriend had Murderface's blade at his throat, one of her swords at her best friend's. He didn't move. Skwisgaar had gotten to his feet as well but he looked rather mullish and ashamed of himself. He sat on the couch.

"Alright, I'm sorry!" said Nathan, not wanting to suffer the most metal death ever. At least not yet.

She withdrew the blade from his throat and he relaxed.

"So am I," said Nate, giving him some sort of look he might have missed. She was staring directly into his eyes and he thought he detected a bit of something there, but he blinked and it was gone.

"Ok, ok fine. Geez." said Joanna and Nate withdrew her sword.

"No more fighting, got it?" said Nate.

No one replied but they had certainly got the message.

"Here, have a drink," said Murderface, handing her a large goblet full of something that looked like fruit punch. She took a sip and said, "thanks."

"What did you spike it with?" asked Nathan out of the corner of his mouth.

"Vodka," he replied.

"Metal."

"I know. Maybe it'll calm her down."

"Doubt it," he said, frowning.

"Just watch."

Half an hour later and many spiked goblets of fruit punch later, the change in the swordman was remarkable.

"I've never seen you like this, are you okay?" asked Joanna concernedly.

"Fine," said Nate, her eyes unfocused and her body too lax. She was extremely tipsy and Nathan doubted she knew it.

"How much vodka did you put in there?" he asked Murderface.

"I dunno, why?"

"Cause she's drunk."

"Hell with it, let's all get fucking drunk!" called Nate and she stole Pickle's bottle of vodka and downed what remained in a few gulps. She promptly threw up and grabbed her throat.

Pickles burst out laughing.

"Dude, she ain't used to straight booze!" he laughed.

"Hell, I'm with her! Let's all get drunk!" crowed Murderface.

The booze began flowing freely and with it, they all got lost. Nathan switched his tape recorder on just because. He didn't know what he sounded like drunk.

This party was getting to be great.

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please review!


	6. Morning after Birthdayklok

Hey, this is a morning after chapter, and you finally get to learn more about a certain character. It appears that alcohol loosens her tongue. YAY!

I think I wil take Lunagoddess fox whatever's advice. Toki deffinitely likes Jo. Problem is she's jailbait... in the US anyway. Just read.

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The next morning Nathan woke up with one massive hangover and wasn't all too surprised, therefor, to see the curve of Nate's bare back lying near him. They were in his bed.

Beside him lay his portable tape recorder. The red light was on. Wierd.

He decided to ignore it for the time being.

He rolled over and, draping an arm lazily across the girl next to him, fell back asleep.

When he next woke up, he could smell bacon. Why would that be? Unless Jean Pierre knew they had had a long night yesterday and taken the liberty of delivering breakfast to them all.

Looking up from his bed, sure enough, there sat a silver tray of what looked like eggs bacon, toast and assorted cheese snacks.

Looking beside him, he saw that Nate had gone. Probably back to her own room, he figured. It was too bad he couldn't remember having sex with her the night before.

He got dressed and ate his breakfast, then grabbed his mini recorder and made his way towards the main room of Mordhaus. Joanna was gone, although he couldn't remember sending her home on the Hatredcopter the night before. He couldn't remember anything.

The others were seated in varikous spots around the main room. Nate lay sprawled on her back in front of the fireplace behind one of the couches. She wasn't sleeping, but she wasn't hurt.

"Jo is still here," she said blankly, seeing him come into the room. She tirned her head on her neck to look up at him.

"Where's Toki?" he asked.

"With Jo," said Nate and to his surprise, she began giggling. It wasn't her usual laugh and it sort of creeped him out. There were deep bags under her eyes and her skin was too pale.

"Great. I meant to send her home," Nathan muttered.

He took a seat on the couch and turned his tape recorder up to full volume, interested to hear what he sounded like drunk and what they had all done.

He hit play.

"Wooo hoooo! Hey Charles, check this out! Look what I can do!" came the sound of Murderface. There was the sound of something falling and Murderface cursing. The rest of them were laughing.

"Dude, is dat from lastnight?" asked Pickles, eyeing the tape recorder.

"Yeah, I uh. Wanted to hear what we all sound like when we're drunk," he replied.

"Sssh!" said Murderface.

They all listened.

"Hey, who wants'zanother drink?"" came a woman's voice.

"Is that me???" said Nate from the floor, suddenly interested. She took a seat beside Nathan.

There came the sound of Charles telling one of them off for something that sounded like "Murderknobs" and then the sound of insane laughter, shrieking, cutting the silence of the morning. It was Nate.

"Dude, you got a scary laugh," said Pickles.

"I was drunk," she said offensively.

"Shut up!" said Nathan.

"Wooooooo, kiss her Toki, Kiss her! Birfday kish!" came Murderface's voice over the tape.

"No way!" slurred someone Nathan recognized as Joanna.

"Well, now we know what happened to Toki lastnight," said Pickles.

"Shutsup!" scolded Skwisgaar.

There was silence for a moment and then cheering. Apparently Toki had kissed Joanna.

Hey, who wants ta hear something bout me?" called a stunted voice, thick with alcohol and a little too unsteady. It was Nate.

"Nots me!" called Skwisgaar, laughing.

"Tough shit, twiggy!" came Nate's sharp response.

"Heys! You calleds me Twiggy!" accused Skwisgaar, staring accusingly at Nate.

"Don't remember," she said quickly. Now her face was the color of fresh milk, making her hair stand out more vividly than ever. She looked damned unhealthy.

"Are you okay?" he asked uncertainly.

She said nothing.

"Aw, c'mon, let's all LET'S ALL HEAR IT!" came Nathan's voice. He sounded almost lucid.

There was the sound of incomprehensible muttering, the sound of vomiting and then Nate began to talk. Nathan cranked the volume up to full.

"Did you guys know I was born in Ireland?" she called.

No one answered her. She carried on in a drunken voice, somehow strange and bare. She had stopped hiding behind her anger and whatever shame she had. It made her voice sound somehow more vulnerable. Nathan didn't like it.

"Yeah, was born ther...and... yeah... mum moved us all ta Russia, some FUCKED UP REASON!" she screamed these last words. Apparently she was angry at her mother.

"Ya,'n uh... she suffocated m'baby siss in a pillowcase an' torched the house, an' I gots adopted out ta friggin' I dunno... Norden? Swedway?"

"Norways?" came the sound of Skwisgar's voice.

"Ya, that's the one," Nate slurred.

Nathan looked beside him. Nate had sat back in the couch and merely stared straight ahead, her eyes blank, her features slack. She was trying very hard to keep her emotions in check, Nathan noticed.

They all continued to listen. No one had ever heard the bodyguard speak of herself before.

"What's happensed?" came Skwisgaar's voice.

"I was adoopted,...adoopted? adopted... yeah that, Skwiggy what else?? Spent fucking three, four years there but they got sick of me, so I went to Alaska, and by that point, couldn't speak a word of nuthin', no one understoods me, cause I wasn't speakin' any language anyone knew, it's was jumbled up..."

The sound of vomiting very close to the recorder and a sick splattering sound.

"Ugh... too much... "

"Speech therapy sucks, by the way... so tha's how I know Russian and Norwegian and stuff...Knew Gaelic already before that, so's not a problem... I'm not smart!" she yelled.

Nathan made a noise in the back of his throat at this. If she was unintelligent, he would eat his shirt. She always made him feel stupid in comparison.

As if to prove a point, she made some sort of incomprehensible syllable. Apparently she was trying to read something.

"You look wierd, Toki... hahaha you got like ten eyeballs... weeeeeee!" came Nate's voice.

"Ya, you do!" said Nathan's voice.

"Dude, is all this true?" asked Pickles as Nathan hit the pause button on the recorder.

Nate didn't answer for a moment.

She looked up at them all with somber eyes and in the firelight her skin looked like white wax stretched across her face. She looked more than hung over; she looked half dead.

"Yes."

"You sure you're okay?" asked Nathan again, putting a hand on her shoulder. She shrugged it off, but half heartedly, as if she didn't really have the energy. He was surprised to feel her shivering like a wet cat.

"Tired... feel shaky. Can't eat anything," she said.

"Oh, crap," said Pickles, suddenly looking at a pill bottle.

"What? Wrong medication?" asked Nathan.

"Who the hell uses Trazadone?" he called out.

Nate weakly raised a hand and indeed, it was shaking badly.

"Oops."

Pickles tossed the pill bottle to Nate and she caught it, fumbled it, dropped it and sighed.

"Don't play the rest, Nathan. I'll explain," she said wearily.

He bent down and retrieved the bottle, handing it to her. 2oo Miligrams of the stuff was enough to knock him out cold. How could she withstand this stuff? It was prescribed to her, he realized, reading the lable. Insomnia.

She took the pill bottle and stuffed it shakily into a pocket.

She began her story.

"I was born in Ireland, like I said on the tape. Everything else was true, too. The people who adopted me gave me a new name and I was there for awhile. They were beauty pageant coordinators or something, but I wouldn't bend. They put me back up for adoption and I was shipped out to Alaska. My languaeg skills were worse than Skwigaar's and Toki's put together. I was speaking a mixture of Gaelic, Norwegian and Russian. I had to take years of speech therapy, and it DID suck. In the process of untangling all the different languages, I learned English. I was about 6 or 7. Kids learn languages easier than adults. They're like spnges," she explained dully. All the while she talked, she played with her fingers and didn't look at any of them.

Finally the story was coming out and she wouldn't look at any of them. As if she was embarassed to talk about it at all.

Nathan shifted his butt closer so they were directly side by side, hoping she would look up at them. She didn't. She did, however, lean her head on his arm.

"The people in Alaska only adopted me for the welfare money that usually follows adopted kids to help care for them. They shunned me and whenever they went out, they left me with a abysitter who would lock me in the basement and then leave herself. I remember her because at this point I was going through a lot of stuff. Mentally, you know? Psychotic breakdowns and stuff. No one wanted to put up with me," she continued.

"Pfft. I woulds have kickeded dem in zeh balls," said Skwisgaar.

She attempted a weak smile but it just made her look even worse. Nathan didn't care who saw him at the moment or what anyone called him. Was he _really_ going soft? How much did he care for her, really?

He put his arm around her and allowed her head to rest against the side of his chest. She shifted her position, getting more comfortable, before speaking again. No one called him a pussy.

"After that, they started running me on all sorts of medications, some that made me throw up, some that made me even worse. They finally decided on Trazadone, it helps me sleep and takes care of my appetite problem. I ate a lot as a kid. The people in Alaska got sick of me eventually, too and I was adopted out again, this time to Florida. It's amazing how far some people'll go just to adopt a kid. I was in Florida for a little over a year and I hated it there. It was too hot and muggy and I wasn't used to the warm temperatures at all. They got sick of me complaining so they shipped me off to a friend of theirs in Connecticut. I stayed there for a few months before they shipped me off to a group home, and that was a nightmare.

The kids there... you have no idea. They were even worse than me, those places are like dog kennels. State care is no fun at all. The kids there were retarded or just plain vicious. They were really horrible to me. At this point, I wasn't into metal yet, but I was into rock and I dressed like any other girl, even if my clothes were a bit baggier than usual," she said. Her voice was starting to crack from overuse and Nathan handed her a nearby glass of water.

She thanked him and took a sip, handing it back to him. He set it back on the floor where it had been to begin with.

"After that, someone in Vermont decided to take me and I graduated from high school there," she said, and to show it, she held up the ring on her little finger. Nathan could just make out a shamrock and the year 2006 on the side of it. It had been a class ring all along.

"I made a few friends there. Nick, Andrew, Craig and Eric. We formed a sort of band but it didn't go far. We only recorded a couple songs before Andrew blew his head off and Eric got committed for drug abuse. The band split up. I started looking for crappy part time jobs, anything to get me the hell away from my life, cause I couldn't drink legally. I didn't do that stuff, and I still don't, really. Drugs... just never appealed to me. I finally saved up enough and I just decided on Sweden. After I got there, I started getting paid under the table, so to speak, because I'm not a legal citizen and couldn't really get paid legally. It was there that I saw you guys in concert for the first time."

"I was 19."

So she had brought them to just a year before they had all met. While she had been talking, Toki and Joanna had entered the room and caught the tail end of what she was saying.

"I hung around Sweden and the border of Norway for awhile and then you guys met me the next time you stopped in. And here I am."

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PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!


	7. Tessaklok

Anyone wondering what Joanna was accusing Skwisgaar of eearlier? You'll find out in this chap. Don't worry, I haven't forgotten the plot line, it'll get back on track in a bit.

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They sent Joanna home shortly after Naetasha's story.

Nathan ordered her to take two of her pills and barred her way to the door outside, insisting she went to bed. She was hung over and still loopy. She needed sleep.

"Waits a minutes. Didn'ts Joanna say sumthing abouts a friend o' hers living in a shanties wiz a babys?" Toki spoke up.

Nathan dimly remembered that fight.

"Yeah, uh, think she did. What's she talking about Skwisgaar?" asked Nathan, thinking the Swede could clear it up.

He shrugged.

"I don'ts knows!" he insisted.

"Huh. Maybe she was bluffing," said Nathan, thinking out loud.

"Maybies," agreed Skwisgaar.

"Hey, maybe Nate knows something, hang on, lemme call my cell phone," said Nathan, and he grabbed Murderface's Dethphone off a table and dialed his number.

She picked up on the third ring.

"Hello?"

"Hey, it's me, Nathan. You remember that fight we all had lastnight?" he asked.

"Yeah. Why?" she asked.

"Jo mentioned somethin about a friend with a baby. What was that all about?" he asked.

There was a pause.

"It's Tessa's business," she said finally.

"What's she sayings?" hissed Skwisgaar.

"Some girl named Tessa," said Nathan, moving his mouth away from the phone.

Skwisgaar went white.

"Hey, uh,gotta go, bye," said Nathan.

"Bye Nathan," she hung up.

"What's with you, Skwisgaar?" demanded Pickles.

"I knows dat girls. Tessa. She hads a babies?" he said.

"Well, yeah, that's what Jo said," said Nathan, shrugging. To be honest, the news that Skwisgaar might or might not have a kid somewhere out there didn't really surprise him. He was the Lothario of Dethklok.

"Oh, fuck mes," said Skwisgaar. His face went a shade away from white and hit green.

"Huh." said Nathan, thinking. Not too hard, but anyway. If Skwisgaar had some kid somewhere, what would that do to Dethklok? Would he even care? Nathan thought he might, but it would never happen; he typically used a condom (even though he hated the damn things).

"Why don'tcha call her then if you're so worried?" asked Murderface, brandishing his knife.

"I woulds buts I don'ts knows her number," admitted Skwisgaar.

"Go ask Nate. She knows it. If she doesn't her friend will," growled Nathan. He knew Skwisgaar wouldn't dare try hitting on her; he was almost afriad of her after all she'd done to abuse him. He got the feeling it was what she did to all the Lotharios of the world, so no one hit on her.

_Meanwhile_...

Skwisgaar followed the hallway, heading towards Naetasha's bedroom, expecting her to be asleep or something.

She was sitting up on her bed when she said he could come in. She had Nathan's laptop on her lap and was typing like crazy, faster than even he could play on guitar. She looked up and was surprised to see him.

"Cans Is uh... talks to yous?" he asked awkwardly. He didn't often talk to girls simply to talk; mostly it was just to do them. This was different. She was Nathan's girlfriend. Nathan would rip him limb from limb.

Or she would.

He shuddered, remembering all the times she hat hit him. It hadn't remotely hurt the first few times, but it wasn't something he enjoyed.

"Sit," she said blankly, patting the bed beside her. Akwardly, he sat next to her at the head of the bedm his legs gangling over the edge. He sat sideways and looked at what she was doing on the laptop. She was talking to someone in a messenger thing.

"Is dat Joannas?" he asked. He was very close to her, closer than he had ever been. Her hair smelled like oranges. He stared at her fingers as they flew over the keyboard. Her and Joanna were talking about setting pom poms on fire... or something. (A/N: For details on this running joke we have, review and ask, ahhahaa)

"You want to know about Tessa," she guessed, not looking at him.

"Um... yeah," he replied. Now they were talking about... cows? They kept saying "moo" whatever that meant. Maybe it was a joke they shared?

She began typing again. He followed the words on the screen, reading slowly. His english had never been very good and she typed faster than he could read.

Skwisgaar wants to know about Tessa.

What does he want to know?

He wants to know about the baby. Send a picture.

There was a pause and then a choice on screen, saying accept or decline.

"Nathan's not goings to like yous putting pictures on his computers," he pointed out.

"He can deal," she replied.

She clicked accept and the load bar started turning green.

A seperate window came up and it showed a picture of his old one night stand, Tessa. Candyfloos blonde hair, brown eyes, slender, totally hot. She held a small baby on her lap, a baby with blue eyes and blonde hair. He thought he recognized those cheek bones. He saw them every time he looked in a mirror.

Oh, god.

"Send it tos a printers, would yous?" he said, trying to keep his voice steady.

She clicked on the print icon on the bottom right hand side of the screen and Nathan's laptop began printing from the inside. It was a combination computer and printer.

Skwisgaar clutched the photo in his hand once it came out and bit his lip. Much as he didn't want a child, he had no choice. He could value his dignity or his sex life, but likely not both. Which one?

"Gets her phones numbers," he said.

She began typing again. A moment later, she scribbled Tessa's phone number down on the printed picture for him. Now to call her. It had been at least... what, three tours? He measured time in the number of tours and where they played, not years. It was easier to remember.

He dialed the numbe ron his Dethphone and she answered on the fourth ring. In the background, a baby cried. He felt a pang of something unfamiliar... was it sadness? Or guilt? Or just plain stupidity?

"Hello?" She sounded tired.

"Hellos? Dis is Skwisgaar Skwigelf," he said.

She was quiet for a moment.

"Skwisgaar Skwigelf? The Dethklok guitarist?" she asked. What, she didn't remember him?

"Ya. I uh... gots a pictures of de babys... from a uh. Friend," he said awkwardly. (A/N: Count how many times I say the word "awkward, hahaha)

She was silent again and in the background, he heard another woman's voice hushing the crying child.

"I didn't tell you because I knew it was just a one night stand and you probably wouldn't care anyway. You're too busy with your music. I got the new album, by the way. It's the only thing Thor will sleep to," she said.

He didn't know why he felt like dying right then. He just... did. He had done the same thing to his son as his mother had done to him; neglected. Why hadn't he bothered to find out? Would she even let him see the boy?

"Thor?" he asked. She had named him after a Norse god?

"That's what I named him. Why are you calling?" she asked.

"I, uh... um.. duh, uh.. um... I uh... Wants to see hims," he stuttered. WHY couldn't he say anything that didn't have anything to do with guitar, _why_? He must sound like a complete dildo!

Another short pause.

"I suppose so. But it's probably not a good idea for you to come over here. Did Joanna tell you?" she asked.

"Um, nos. Naetasha dids, de Dethklok body guards. She's friends wid dis Joanna," he replied, trying to get his "th" sound right.

"How abouts laters todays?" he asked.

"Fine." She hung up.

"Hey. She hungded up ons me," he said, hanging up as well.

"Tessa lives near Mordland, doesn't she? She should be here any minute. You better figure out what you want to say," said Nate.

Skwisgaar slumped. He had never wanted this. And yet it just was. What to do?

"Thanks Nates," he said. Feeling oddly depressed, he got up and left the room.

He was just like his mohter. Every hating fiber of his being hated admitting it, but there it was. He was a manwhore. Oh, god, she was bringing a baby to Mordhaus. What would the guys think? They would hate him for sure.

He decided to sulk around near the entrance to Mordhaus, in case the snipers or someone spotted her coming and decided to shoot her.

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Just a short insight into the mind of the fastest guitarist in the world. He knows he;s like his mother but behemently denies it. hehehehehe. PLEASE REVIEW!


	8. Selatcia's Tribunal

Hey, getting back on track here, okay? Yes, Skwisgaar is going through a rough time now, and yes, I will get back to it later. For the moment, you can all hang with Selatcia

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Selatcia, using the telepathic powers he had gained from illegal government pharmeceutical research, carefully studied the men he had chosen as the new Tribunal.

Derek Mullens, a well-liked and ambitious military official, nowhere near as treacherous as Crozier had been. He had many useful contacts and always kept his mouth shut. He was invaluable as a Tribunal member not only because of this but because he could keep a cool head in tight situations, instead of lashing out as Crozier had done.

Melinda Warez, the only woman alive who could be trusted to stay silent, because she was mute. She was the head of the website known to Dethklok fans as Die for Dethklok dot org. The other major one was die for dethklok dot com, but the men in charge of that were labeled as either dead or missing. Melinda would have to do. She updated her site daily and had many useful contacts in the media.

Jhonen Yakovitch, known to his friends as "yakky" because he was the center of all gossip and knew absolutely everything about the members of the band.

Shane Keiler, an older gentleman who had worked for the band some time ago but had been let off because of old age. He knew quite a bit about the inside of Mordhaus, among other things.

Cadhil Malloun, another ex roadie, this one fired for being caught stealing. He wasn't the most reliable but his knowledge of the inner workings of the band member's relationships with one another was too valuable a thing to pass up.

Lastly, a shorter man by the name of Horace Orlaag, Vaater Orlaag's younger brother. The same contacts, the saem knowledge, the same hatred of Dethklok, with an added bonus; he needed to avenge his brother's murder. His main focus was killing the girl, but they would need her alive. At least at first.

All in all, a poor replacement for the original Tribunal he had put together.

He patrolled the line of five men and one woman, eyeing them, studying them, committing their faces to memory in case one were to go missing.

One way or another, Dethklok would be brought down. And he had just the p lan to do it. According to Melinda Warez, one of the members of the band, Skwisgaar Skwigelf, was expecting an old girlfriend to visit Mordhaus... and she had a baby.

That baby would be his leaverage.

Soon, he thought. One way or another.

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Uh oh... what'll happen? And what does he have in mind? You'll have to read to find out! And as always, reviews, feedback, ideas and opinions are welcome!


	9. Thorklok

Hey, back to the business at hand here. FLEA SEASON SUCKS!!! That dog is lucky we like him as much as we do, or he wouldn't be sleeping in my room. I swear, if I have to wash one more sheet today... grr... ok, I feel better now. On with the story!

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She arrived a half hour later in a run down green car, one of the windows covered with a trash bag instead of window glass. She got the child out of the back seat and wrapped him in a blanket and began walking up to the front door of Mordhaus uncertainly.

She was almost exactly as he remembered her. She had been the only one night stand that he had felt any sort of attraction to in any other way other than sexually. Blond hair to her waist, brown eyes, slender and pale. She looked a little older now, small wrinkles under her eyes. He looked at the baby. Same as the photo. Actually, the child was little more than a toddler, probably a year old, three at the most. She only carried him as a precaution.

"Skwisgaar," she said as a way of greeting. She did not smile.

"Hi's," he said, shifty and uncomfortable.

The child looked over at him and babbled something unintelligable and smiled. Oh gosd, that smile looked just like his mother's. There was no doubt at all that this .. _baby_... was his son. He had a son... that revelation brought him to his senses. He took a seat on the steps and put his head in his hands.

Tessa took a seat beside him and set the toddler down to move a bit. He was dressed in a tiny black t shirt and a pair of black shorts.

She noticed him noticing the boy's clothes and gave him a wry smile.

"He'll only fall asleep to your metal music, so I figured he must like it," she said.

"So he is... my son?" asked Skwisgaar.

She nodded, biting her lip.

From up above, looking through a large window, the rest of Dethklok and Nate watched the scene. It was hard to tell from this distance, thought Nathan, but the kid _did_ look a bit like the world's fastest guitarist.

"God... I can't believe Skwisgaar has a kid," he said, shaking his head slightly.

"Dat's funny, cause I can," snickered Pickles.

Naetasha giggled from where she stood beside Nathan, but not because she thought the situation was funny. Nathan would have laughed too, except he was more worried about what sort of drastic action Skwisgaar would take.

"Don't worry, Nathan. I'm pretty sure he won't leave Dethklok. There are plenty of ways around this," said Nate, slipping a hand on his shoulder. Maybes he was right, there _were _a lot of ways around this sorta thing. Visitation rights and that sort of stuff. He wouldn't leave Dethklok... would he?

They all watched as Skwisgaar brought them both inside, the woman holding the hand of the child.

"Hoh boy," said Nathan. He was not used to a few things aside from music, and small children was one of those few.

"Hey, don't worry, kids ain't all dat bad," said Pickles, although he didn't look too certain himself.

A moment later and Skwisgaar came into the room they were all in. They turned to greet him.

Surprisingly, the kid was older than a baby. Huh. Maybe he had been overreacting. The kid definitely did have Skwisgaar's eyes, thought Nathan. The same shape and shade and everything, the same cheekbones, the same hair. There was llittle to no doubt.

He toddled right up to Nathan, looking so far up at him that he toppled and fell on his butt. Nathan raised an eyebrow and merely glanced down at the kid.

"He likes you," said the woman, who was blonde like Skwisgaar.

"Huh. What makes you say that," he said, not posing it as a question.

"Hey, kiddie, what's happenin'?" asked Pickles, trying to act like he wasn't as shifty as the rest of them. It was just a stupid kid, why were they all on tetherhooks?

The boy got to his feet and toddled over to the red haired drummer and Pickles bent down so they were face to face.

"Puckle!" he said.

"What the-?" said Murderface.

The blonde woman looked just as shocked.

"He's... never said anything before. That was his first word," she said, staring at her son.

Nate, meanwhile, was giggling like a lunatic.

"Hey, what's so funny?" accused Pickles.

"He... said... puckle... hahaha not.. pickles, heehehehe... I think that's a good... hahaha nickname ...for you... from now on," and at this point, she was so overcome that she just kept laughing.

Pickles didn't seem to find it amusing.

Nathan, on the other hand, began chuckling along with her. It _was_ pretty funny. Maybe they would start calling him Puckle from now on, hahaha.

"Hey, whatever, man, I don't think so," said Pickles. He stood up straight again, but the toddler would have none of it. He plopped himself down on the drummer's foot and began giggling, saying "Puckle" over and over again.

By now, they were all laughing at Pickles' expense, including Skwisgaar.

" 'Ey whatever, ya douchebags," he said, folding his arms, but Nathan could tell inside, he was probably laughing too.

"What's his names?" asked Toki.

"His name is Thor, but I never really gave him a surname... I wasn't sure..." said Tessa, picking the child up and holding him. Nathan could guess what she had been about to say. She wasn't sure if the kid was even Skwisgaar's.

"Why nots names him Skwigelf, like Skwisgaar?" asked Toki.

There was a very awkward pause here.

"Um... Toki..." began Skwisgaar.

"No, no, it's okay... I mean it's obvious. He's right. If you don't mind..." said the woman.

"Thor Skwigelf?" repeated Skwisgaar. He had a point, thought Nathan. It just didn't sound as good.

Skwisgaar took the woman and the child out of the room, prsumably to speak with them, and Nathan turned to Pickles.

"So what do you think know, huh Puckle?" he asked, grinning.

"Shut up!" cried the drummer.

They all burst out laughing again

Even though he was laughing, he still couldn't help feeling a bit uneasy. Skwisgaar wouldn't really leave Dethklok because of Thor...

Would he?

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I know, I'm probably making this chapter seem more akward than it would normally be, but not having had a father of my own, I dunno... meh, I guess it'd be akward in any case.

I have another dethklok story in my head and this one concerns Toki! You'll have to be patient, though, I'm not sure how much longer this one wil be.

PLEASE REVIEW!!


	10. Inner child tied and beaten

Hey, the tribunal is on the move. Wait'll you see the totally awesome sweet metal death I have in store... heeheeheehee METALOCALYPSE all the way...

I have turned Tessa into some kind of a headstrong single mother... bleah. No idea where that came from.

Does it surprise anyone that the best metal band of our generation (1988-present) is a cartoon?

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Tessa brought Thor back home half an hour after the "Puckle" episode.

She hadn't wanted to tell Skwisgaar, in truth, because she hadn't wanted to be the cause of any legal ramifications. Child support, custody trials, visitation rights... she knew the legal system of child custody well. She had once been that tug of war flag and it wasn't fair at all to the boy. He was not a prize to be won at a fair.

Besides. He was growing up pretty much alright as they were living now.

She pulled into the driveway of their one-floor home, which was really just a glorified shanty. It canted to the east a bit because the cement blocks it stood on were a bit uneven, but it was paid for and that was all that mattered.

She unbuckled the boy from his car seat and brought him and his sippy cup inside. He was getting drowzy and he needed a nap.

She flicked on the living room lights and at first she didn't register what her eyes were seeing.

A man was standing in her living room combination dining room.

"Who are you? What are you doing here?" she demanded, her voice a little shaky. In truth she was terrified. This man had a dager stuck in one shoulder and a gleam in his eyes that told her he didn't give up. She didn't know how she knew, but this man was crazy. And dangerous.

Instinctively, she clutched her son tighter to her chest, dropping the sippy cup.

"I've come for the child," the man said softly, drawing out his words.

He was going to take him, she just knew it.

She turned out the front door and ran to her car, clutching her son as if he were a lifeline. She wouldn't give him up without a fight. Now that Skwisgaar knew, he would flay her alive if she lost him.

She was stopped in her tracks from behind, although she didn't feel anyone;s hands on her. Why couldn't she move her body? What was this? She was frozen!

"Very good," said the man and she looked around with her eyes. He was taking the child out of her arms! Why the fuck couldn't she move!!!!

"No!" she managed to gag out. Her voice had been momentarily frozen as well. He had the boy in his arms now.

She could move again.

She tried to kick him but an unnatural heavy fog came and he had vanished.

She dropped to her knees, unable to believe it. A madman had just kidnapped her son.

She began sobbing, sucking in huge gasps, hyperventilating. Skwisgaar. Dethklok. She had to let them know.

She staggered to her feet once more and ran inside the house, such as it was. Grabbing her cell phone, she tried dialing the number Skwisgaar had called her from but her fingers were shaking too badly. She hung up and tried again and this time she got it right.

"Hellos?"

She was crying too hard, breathing too heavily, to articulate anything but managed to say his name.

"Whoa whoa, slows downs! Who is dis?" he demanded.

"T-tessa! Skwisgaar, you guys h-have to c-come! He took Thor, he took the baby, he's gone!" she sobbed, and she broke down crying again.

"Whats? Someones tooks de baby?? Who? Where is yous!" Skwisgaar demanded. From the background she could hear other people start talking.

"I'm... on... dearborn avenue, about fifteen miles from Mordhaus... I dunno what to do," she gasped. She began hyperventilating again. Her baby was gone! What on earth was she going to tell the police? That a man had frozen her with some mind powers and taken her child only to disappear in a fog? It sounded absurd!

"I'lls be rights dere," said Skwisgaar and he hung up.

She collapsed to the floor, sobbing.

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Skwisgaar hung up the phone, not sure what he felt. He had only just met his son and the news that he had been kidnapped... why did he suddenly feel... protective?

"Thor was kidnapped??"

"What happened?"

"Dude, what is it?"

"Um... Tessa says dat Thor was babys nappeds," he replied.

"Dude! Not cool!" Pickles exclaimed. It seemed he had forgiven the child for giving him a new nickname.

"Well, we gotta go!" said Nathan, growling.

"I thought you didn't like kids?" said Pickles.

"This is different. It's Skwisgaar's kid and any kid of Dethklok is a uh... Dethklok member, yeah. So we go!" he corrected him, and he left the room.

"To the murdercycleeeeee!" cried Pickles in his odd Wisconsin accent and the rest of them followed him out the door.

_Meanwhile..._

Selatcia returned to their temporary base just thirty miles from Mordhaus, in an abandoned warehouse. The rest of the Tribunal waited for him there.

"Great, you got the boy!" congratulated Jhonen.

"I dunno... kidnapping small children? It just doesn't feel right to me," muttered Derek. He was the only one who had felt uneasy about the plan.

The boy was starting to wake up and when he did, he would see that Selatcia was not his mother and the warehouse was not his home. He might even begin to cry. They could not let that happen.

He handed the boy to Melinda and turned towards the outer door, where a military copter waited for them.

"We go now," he instructed them.

"Not just yet sir, we have to refuel," said the pilot.

Dammit.

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They rrived at the broken down little shanty and Nathan parked the Murdercycle just beuind her car. Pickles had jumped out before any of them. It seemed he had taken a sudden liking to the kid.

Nate climbed off the backseat of the bike, what had become her customary "sidecar" and followed the rest of them into the house. The door had been left open.

Tessa lay on the floor crying hysterically, her blonde hair plastered to her neck and face.

Nathan watcheed as Nate rushed forward and gently helped the older woman up off the floor and put an arm around her thin shoulder. She looked like shit. Her face was all blotchy and red.

Then again, if he had just discovered he had a kid and they had been taken, he would be pissed too.

"Hush, what happened?" said Nate gently, stroking the hair out of Tessa's face.

"A man... t-took Thor... We had just come home and I was gonna put him down for a nap, why did he do this?" she sobbed. Her crying shook her entire body and before she could fall again, Nate steered her onto a nearby couch that looked as if it had seen better days.

In truth, none of the members of Dethklok had known Nate had a sympathetic bone in her body. What else didn't they know about her? They had found out just about everything the other day and they still didn't know her very well. Nathan felt a surge of unexpected pride in her.

"Dude, what'd dis guy look like?" asked Pickles.

"Yeha, we'll drill a hole in his head for ya!" added Murderface.

"I don'ts thinks you're helping, Murderface," said Toki.

"I dunno, he had... a suit on, white and his hair was long. There was a knife on his shoulder," she described, looking at a loss.

No one needed to know the man's name to know who he was.

Selatcia.

"I knew it," growled Nate.

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PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!

don't worry. it'll be okay... at leasty you can keep telling yourself that, hahaha.


	11. A change of plans

I'm jumping into this right away

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"The copter's all fueled, sir," said the pilot. He had started it again.

Suddenly, he was struck by an inspirational change of plans, as all inspirations and genius ideas usually came randomly.

"No," he said, holding up a hand, "we bait them. Here," he said, pointing to the floor of the storage unit.

This would be the final showdown bertween himself and Dethklok.

He began putting his plan into action.

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Nathan and the others all sat around the rundown living room sipping iced tea. Tessa had been told (very firmly) to go lie down by Nate and they were all discussing Selatcia.

Nathan sat sipping his over-sugared drink, not saying much. Nate had guessed that Selatcia might use Thor as bait. It seemed she was the brains beind this.

Again, he had that annoyed twinge, that feeling of feeling inferior. Did he really deserve her, for anything other than a bodyguard?

She seemed to feel his discomfort because she stopped talking and just kept thinking.

She was brilliant. She was beautiful. She was dangerous. She was metal enough to be counted among the members of Dethklok.

He didn't deserve her.

He felt a warm hand slide intself into the hand he had on the couch beside his leg and felt slightly reassured. She could read his feelings simply by watching him. In one way, it was sort of creepy; in another, it was good, becasue he wasn't one to convey such feelings as comfort and warmth. He wanted to make everything metal and blacker than the blackest black known to man.

They were slowly succeeding.

"I sinks dat Nate is right. Dat Selakia guy wants to lures us wis Thor," said Toki for the hundredth time.

"We know," said Pickles and Murderface together.

Skwisgaar hadn't said one word.

"Dis is dildos," he muttered. He looked tired.

Suddenly , one of the windows exploded in a shower of glass. In a flash, Nate was on her feet, swords drawn and at the window.

"Dude, someone threw a rock," said Pickles. He darted forward, bent down and picked it up. There was a note tied to it.

"Isn't that cliche?" asked Nathan. He was trying to prove that he, too, knew big words. He had never felt so stupid.

"Hey, it says come to the abandoned warehouse near the lakefront if you want the boy back, signed selatcia," read Pickles.

Nate gave them all a look that plainly said "I told you so".

"Okay, so this jackoff is using Thor as bait to lure us to this place to kill us," summed Nathan.

"Bout it," replied Nate.

"Well, we're not goin' are we?" asked Pickles.

"Fuck, no," said Murderface.

"Wait. I have an idea... it's got a lot of holes in it, but... it's an idea," said Nate. She looked as tired as Tessa and she also looked a little stressed for some reason.

They all sat back for a moment. Nathan finished his iced tea and leaned forwad a bit.

"You guys can go. But instead of getting slaughtered, you play a show. Use it as a distraction, you'll play it not directly at the address he gave us but near it. While you guys play, I can go to Selatcia and draw him to the stage. We rig a pyrotechnic funnel full of glass and mercury and explode it into the crowd. We get Thor back and kill Selatcia all in one," she proposed.

They all sat in silence for a few moments. It _was_ full of holes. More than swiss cheese.

"I say we dos it," said Skwisgaar.

"Wait, we can't play a show in the middle 'a nowhere, no one'll come!" protested Pickles.

To their surprise, she laughed. It was not a humorous one.

"If Dethklok is playing in_ hell_, I'm sure everyone will be there for it," she said. She had a point. Those regular jackoffs would follow them to the ends of the earth without a second's hesitation.

"Okay, so we plays a shows and den you gos to dat guy over deres and what about Thor?" asked Toki.

She appeared to think for a moment.

"Selatcia probably doesn't have much compassion for children. He'll probably give Thor to one of the other members of the Tribunal, someone not as cold, someone willing to make sure he's quiet. Luring Selatcia to a fight won't be hard. When I come in range of the funnel we'll set up onstage, have one of the roadies light it," she explained.

"Why Mercury and glass?" asked Murderface.

"It's the only thing from my high school chemistry classes I remember. Glass and mercury melt at the same temperature," she replied, not looking at all pleased with herself. (A/N I'm not really sure of this "fact", it's just thrown in there for theatrics)

Nathan voiced the most obvious thing of all.

"If we fire the pyrotechnic, Selatcia dies, which is good. But you'll get hit too."

"Well, I dunno about you guys, but this is quite possibly the most metal thing I've ever heard," said Murderface. No one listened to him.

"Yea, we don'ts wants yous getting hurts," said Toki, and he looked angry.

"Well, who else is going to?" she demanded. Now _she_ looked a little angry.

"Hey, are you alright? You seem all stressed out," said Nathan.

She looked up at them all and sighed.

"Fine. I won't do it. I'll be onstage. Selatcia will want to kill me too. Remember? From those files from before, the Tribunal thought I was some sixth metalocalypse doombringer or something, so he'll want to kill me too," she gave in.

"We'll get someone we hate to do it, then. Who would we use?" asked Murderface.

No one said anything. Nathan knew who he'd _ like_ to have do it, but Dr. Rockzo was in jail.

"I shall do it, my lords," said a voice from the doorway.

The members of Dethklok stared.

There in the doorway stood the midgety #216.

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PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!


	12. Dethstage

Hey, I'm really pissed of today, so this is going to be rough in matters of chapter updates. Bear with me.

Review.

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"What're you doing here?" demanded Pickles.

"Please forgive my intrusion, masters, but you forgot your guitar, Skwisgaar. You usually bring it with you on outings. I thought you might like it," said 216, and from behind his back, he pulled Skwisgaar's Gibson.

"Wow, uh, thanks," said Skwisgaar, not really that grateful. 216 Strode in and handed the guitar to its owner.

"As I was saying, my lords, I would be honored to lure this dirtbag to the stage," said the midget and he made a little bow.

There was silence. Nathan knew all their roadies were trained by the best to fight. Would Selatcia want to fight them at all, was the question.

"Fine. Go ahead, here's the address. Just wait for us to call ya," said Pickles, and he handed 216 the slip of paper.

"Let's roll," said Nate, sighing, and she walked out the door.

The band saw no alternative but to follow her. Nathan wasn't surprised when Skwisgaar disappeared into Tessa's bedroom before following them out.

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Charles had been filled in on the plan, and although he didn't agree with it, he agreed to help them set up and make the announcement over tv.

Nathan notified the roadies and they helped too. Nate, meanwhile, was assisting Jean Pierre and the roadie in charge of the pyrotechnics with the special fire funnels. They would fill all of them with the leaded poison and glass, they had decided, in case Selatcia sidestepped.

Skwisgaar decided not to help much. Instead, he could be seen sharpening one of Nate's knives, a silver throwing knife. He looked grim. Nathan guessed the kidnapping of his newfound son really had him pissed off.

While the roadie in charge of cleaning microphones dusted his, he took Nate aside and asked her what was wrong. She kept making pained faces and staring off into space.

"I'm just nervous about this, that's all," she assured him, and she handed another flat piece of glass to the bulky roadie in charge of pyrotechnics.

Not quite reassured but not wanted to press the matter further, he headed back over to his microphone and grunted a thanks to #212.

As they prepared, people started gathering around the stage. They were positioned on the same waterfront as Selatcia must be, but seperated by several buildings so he didn't get suspicious.

216 Would be positioned at the back of the crowd, armed with not only the sgtandard issue Dethklok firearms, but also a rather special dagger of Nates, tipped in an unknown substance and dried on the blade. If shoved into a corner, he would use it. Selatcia would be favoring and protecting the blade in his shoulder, so it wasn't a feasable weak point.

They would play this stupid show, grab Thor back, kill that asshole and pack up and go. Happily ever after.

People were pouring in by the dozens now, and some of them were making rather lewd gestures at Nate. For she show, and for obvious (she wanted to keep everyone's eyes on her to distract them from what was going on with Selatcia in case someone thought it was a mosh pit) she had changed into a rather skimpy outfit that showed a LOT of bare, fish-white skin. In this case, a thigh high mini-skirt, black with red stitching and a small, bell out skirt, a fishnet shirt over a black bra-looking thing and knee high combat boots. She looked rather punk.

Nathan decided not to look at her too long. She was a very good distraction.

As for the looks and covetious whistles she was getting, those didn't bother him. People whistled at him all the time, and not always females.

His job was to create the ultimate distraction. Nothing more.

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She felt distinctly uncomfortable in the outfit she wore. It had been a last minute purchase with part of her paycheck as a Dethklok employee. She was to make sure everyone's eyes were on her, though, and she couldn't do that dressed as she usually was.

She felt like a skank.

Nonetheless, she forced herself to smile and wave at the crowd. Her fingernails had been freshly painted using some of Nathan's black nail polish.

Nathan jumped directly into "face fisted" and she knew her job had started. She was to stag "fight" one of the roadies, also dressed incognito, during the show, as a sort of entertainment thing. It took her mind off the crowd and stopped her caring that they could all see the curve of her butt and the immense cleavage her top provided.

She focused on dodging and twirling her blades theatrically and could tell that even staged, her "opponent" was straining to keep it up. She was getting tired, too. Her arms ached and her hips were taking the strain badly.

She took a break in between "Go forth and die" and "Birthday dethday" and caught her breath. She shared a bottle water with the un-masked roadie and began pushing at her sore hip joints, trying to massage them as best she could.

She took a few more deep breaths and just before Nathan decided to jump right into "Murdertrain a comin'", Pickles threw in a little drum solo, to which she and the roadie "danced" to. The lights were all on them, clashing swords and fighting.

_Meanwhile..._

216, whos name was actually Dwayne (you seee why he preferred his numeric designation) had been spying on Selatcia and the rest of whom must be that Tribunal thing the others were talking about for the past fifteen minutes, waiting for Selatcia to put the baby down or give him to someone else.

When he finally did, 216 made a loud noise, dropping a nearby pipe onto the concrete, something to draw him over, away from shouting distance of his cronies.

Once the man was within range, 216 stepped out and pulled his gun, pointing it directly at the man's head. He was shorter than average, buthe more than made up for it with his shooting. He was the best on the Dethklok staff outside of the snipers. He never missed.

Selatcia actually looked somewhat surprised.

"Come on, gramps, I'll follow you out," he said, trying to keep his voice down.

Selatcia walked out of the warehouse at gunpoint and 216 knew, by the time they reached the back of the crowd, that the guy was playing along and knew something was up.

Up onstage, the pretty woman and his pal Kris were swordfighting while the band played.

He shoved his gun as far up into the man's back as he could reach, which was just below the neck. Selatcia kept walking. He didn't know about the--- no, musn't think of those, the guy was a sort of psychic, from what he had heard. Don't give him the chance, you never knew.

They were in the middle of the crowd when it happened. Some smartass bumped into him, nudging the gun away from the man he was pushing and Selatcia took the chance.

He spun away from the gun and shoved his hand into 216's jaw.

Up onstage, Nathan saw the fight break out. It wasn't a mosh pit. It was 216 and that asshole Selatcia.

He stopped singing and cried out the man's name.

The crowd stopped moshing in areas at the sound of the music stopping. Skwisgaar's guitar was humming and Murderface's finges slid over his strings, but other than that, the stage was silent.

"SELATCIA!" Nathan shouted out again.

Slowly, the crowd began to an away from the man in white and he tilted his head up to look him directly in the face.

"Nathan Explosion, as I live and breathe," said Selatcia.

He didn't know why, but the sound of his name coming from that asshole's mouth pissed him off.

"Hey, why'd they stop playing?" murmered a few people in the crowd.

"Shut it, you," said Nate, speaking into Nathan's microphone. Nathan glanced sideways at her in her skimpy outfit, but her face didn't say helpless slut at all. She had a hard, blazing look to her face, and with her sword at her side, even he wouldn't dare cross her.

"What did you do with Thor?" he demanded.

Selatcia walked right up the the edge of the stage, as close as he could, and unbeknownst to him, anyway, just to the side of one of the pyrotech funnels. They had been aimed to criss cross each other's paths in case one missed. Almost everyone in the crowd would die if hit. The rest might get sick from the vapors. Nathan didn't give a damn.

He just wanted these asshole Tribunals off his back.

"So tell me, Nathan. What sordid plans did you have in store for me? Surely, this isn;t the usual venue for your famous shows?" he taunted him.

"I'll tell 111 to light the funnels" Nate whispered so softly he almost couldn't hear her. She vanished from his side.

He decided to keep this jackass busy.

"We're not planning anything, I mean come on. I never graduated from high school, Toki and Skwisgaar's english skills suck and Murderface and Pickles don't do anything for the band. We're here cause we feel like it," Nathan droned on, saying anything to keep Selatcia standing where he was.

"Hey, whadaya mean we don't do anything for the band? I write all my own crap!" said Pickles, outraged. Nathan turned back to him and he slipped him a sneaky wink. He was playing along.

"Yeah,and whats do you means Toki and me don'ts knows english? Mine is prefects!" cried Skwisgaar, defeating the purpose.

"Yeahs, mine is perfects, too!" Toki agreed.

"Okay, I really don't do much of anything... but I know you all like me!" called Murderface. The crowd began to chuckle.

Nathan distantly heard the small hum and whine of the pyrotechs starting to heat up.

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DUN DUN DUUUN!!!! Next chapter up very soon!!!!


	13. Explosionklok

Sorry for the evil cliffhanger!!!

Here you are!

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Nathan managed a rgim smile and felt a surge of electricity that he usually associtateed with a good show resulting in a fw hundred deaths and above them, the sky darkened and the wind began to blow. The clouds turned red and the day got darker.

Selatcia had two seconds to move away from the funnels when he noticed they were pointed the wrong way and in the wrong place.

"Well done, Mr. Explosion. I congratulate you," he said, smiling grimly. With a whiplike motion, he withdrew the dagger from his shoulder and the wound didn't bleed. It had already begun healing.

Befre he could harm the lead singer, three things happened at once.

A throwing knife went flying past his face and buried itself in the man's stomach. Skwisgaar hd decided to act.

"Dats' fors my sons, you fuckface!" he yelled.

Nate drew her sword and began advancing on the edge of the stage towards Selatcia. Nathan put his hand on her arm, warning her not to climb off.

The funnels exploded, belching out a tongue of flame nearly sisteen feet long. Molten glass, bright orange and flashes of something dark silver exploded out with it and Selatcia's eyeballs were coated in the stuff. He was dead withing seconds.

The rest of the crowd were screaming in pain, fear, panick and elation. They were being killed by Dethklok, and to them, that was a real honor. Brainless morons.

Brainless or not, this was metal. People's faces were melting, their skin bubbling and turning black, layers of yellow fat oozing like candle wax, skulls grinning through. The smell was overwhelming.

He heard someone retching and turned to see Nate losing her stomach contents. Her vomit was a viscuous green-yellow color and her skin was paler than ever. She had never thrown up at the sight of violence before... something nagged at him once more, but he ignored it for the moment.

They started to play one more song to the screams of the dying. As they did so, a few roadies came and placed breathing masks over the band's faces so they didn't inhale anything poisonous. Nate was still throwing up but she managed to strap her mask over her mouth and nose. She looked sick.

They finished their last song and the roadies began packing up their things. Nathanhanded his microphone to the mic cleaner roadie and jumped offstage, slipping in blood and melted skin. He helped everyone down and they began wading their way through the sea of deceased.

Some people were struggling not to throw up long enough to say something to him, smiling toothlessly and he ignored them. Above their heads, the red sky began to cry rain and lightning flashed. Somewhere in the distance, a baby screamed.

"Thor," said Skwisgaar, and he ran ahead of them all, throwing his guitar off his shoulder as he went. It fell to the ground and broke.

Nathan broke into a run, slipping and sliding in spilled blood. Once he almost fell and he heard a sharp cry and looking back, saw that Nate _did_ fall. He doubled back to help her up, took her by the hand and chased after the rest of Dethklok.

If Thor was, indeed, with the rest of the tribunal, then there was a chance they might decide to hurt him. He could see why Skwisgaar was concerned.

They came upon the abandoned warehouse where the Tribunal had supposedly met up and saw a group of six people, all men and one woman. The woman was holding a struggling, crying Thor. The child saw Dethklok and stopped at once.

They all stood there in a row, letting the wind whip up their hair. Nathan gave them his best, most brutal glare. Dethklok had arrived and another Metalocalypse had begun once more. Even where he stood, he heard the cement walkway crumbling into the sea.

Lightning struck the remains of the Tribunal where they stood and the woman suddenly threw the child into the air.

Before he could stop weither of them, Skwisgaar and Nate both dove for him. Nathan saw it all as if in slowmo. Skwisgaar missed and hit the ground. Nate missed as well and landed on top of Skwisgaar. Thor bounced safely off the their backs and landed harmlessly on the ground. He was crying again.

Pickles picked the kid up, unmindful of his wet bottom, and held him close, attempting to shush him.

"Puckle," he said, and he settled down at once.

They all looked to the thunderstruck are of ground. The Tribunal lay dead, electrocuted.

Nate rolled off of Skwisgaar, clutching her stomach below the navel. Her fishnet had been torn and her skirt had ridden up to reveal, plain as day, a pair of plain blue underwear, bikini style.

Nathan went forward to help her up and see what was wrong, but Skwisgaar beat him to it, clutching her by the wrist and hand and setting her on her feet. They both appeared unscathed but Nate still clutched her stomach. Had she hit it?

She hobbled over to Nathan and he saw that she still looked ill.

Something in his mind clicked that made him ignore the joy at having their plan suceed and the weather change. The reason she was stressed, the vomiting, the pale, clammy skin, the outbursts... was she pregnant??

"Oh, god," he muttered, although he had a pretty good idea god had nothing to do with it. He didn't even really believe in god anyway.

"I... didn;t want to tell you... I knew there was already a lot going on with Skwisgaar and Thor and then this... I only found out a few days ago," she confessed.

She let go of her stomach and looked up at him while around the, them storm raged.

"I wasn't sure what to do," she said.

"Did I miss sumthin'?" asked Pickles.

"Shut ups!" said Toki. He had understood, inoccently oblivious as his mind could sometimes be. Naetasha was going to have a baby!

"Uhhhh..." was all he could think of to say. He was pretty sure he was the, dare he even think it, father. He took her for her word that she was no tramp, despite what her louder-than-usual outfit tonight said.

She looked sad. Didn't girls usually get all excited about babies? he wondered.

"Easy, Nathan," said Murderface, showing an unusal display of sensitivity. But he had no intention of getting mad. This was mostly his fault anyway. The condom must have broken or something.

What was it he had said before? About Thor. Any kid of Dethklok's might as well be included in the wierd "family" their band had somehow become. Well, now he was about to join Skwisgaar in the brutalness of child-rearing, although he doubted he would be any good at it.

They all turned and began walkign back towards the stage and the roadies and the piles of melted dead, all still wearing their oxygen masks.

Kids were not metal, he knew that much, but maybe he could make it metal. After all, they were succeeding in making everything else metal.

The Hatredcopter stood waiting, the stage and all their equipment loaded up already.

As Dethklok boarded their transportation back to Mordhaus, the blackbirds came and began feasting on the dead. Nathan watched them out the window as the copter started to take off. He managed a grim smile.

"Go forth and die."

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THE END

PLEASE REVIEW!!!


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